by: Christina Botto
Recently, several parents have asked me, "Where is my teen's anger coming from?"
Teenagers, like adults, experience stress every day.
The stubborn and argumentative teen is fighting for independence and less control from his or her parents.
An angry teen is battling a daily struggle to make sense of emotional issues, such as:
- changes in their bodies
- trying to establish an identity
- dealing with friends positive and negative peer pressure
- school demands
- separation or divorce of parents
- being accused of something they did not do
- being treated unfairly
- not getting a chance to voice their opinion
- chronic illness or death of a loved one
- taking on too many activities
- parents' high expectations
It's no surprise that our teens might become overloaded with stress.
Teenagers have poor coping skills, and getting angry is the only way they know how to avoid feeling sad, hurt, or afraid.
Teens also have unreasonable expectations, especially if they are used to getting what they want, when they want it. If this does not happen, or they realize that things are not always within their control – they become angry.
Their anger can take many forms - some teens might repress their anger and become withdrawn, while others get defiant, destructive or turn to alcohol and drugs.
Parents are often caught by surprise and react by either yelling or arguing back, or punishing their teen for showing their anger.
Instead, parents need to recognize this show of anger or rage as a signal that their teen may be lacking problem solving skills, or is overwhelmed by the demands of his or her daily lives.
Fortunately parents have many options to help their teens through their frustration and cope with everyday pressure:
- Ask your teen what unresolved conflict he or she is facing
- Listen to your teen
- Focus on his or her feelings
- Understand the situation from your teen's perspective
- Help your teen work towards a solution
- Show your teenager that you care
Unresolved issues can escalate to physical violence, addictions, and psychosomatic disorders.
This can devastate your teen’s life by destroying relationships, clouding effective thinking, and potentially ruining his or her future. Seek professional help for your teen, yourself, or your family if necessary.
About The Author
Christina Botto is a member of the National Writers Association and the author of Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents That Works. She has also recently published a 3 volume series dealing with specific issues facing teens and parents today, Fitting The Pieces. The series contains unique insight into the minds of teens, with hundreds of interviews with teens and their parents – and practical advice on dealing with some of the biggest problems faced by parents with teens.
To learn more about these life-changing strategies to bring you and your teen closer together – and put an end to the frustration and madness of a dysfunctional parent-teen relationship, pick up your copy of Christina's Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents That Works today.
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“This guide is a no nonsense "how-to" that is likely to save many relationships.”