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Teenagers and Peer Pressure
by Christina Botto
rasing teens

Your teenager faces several areas of peer pressure. What makes it even harder for your teenager is that most parents do not understand the depths to which these pressures go.

Cigarettes and Alcohol

Cigarettes and alcohol more than likely will be among the first areas where your teenager will have to face peer pressure. With movies and television flashing images of underage smoking and drinking, most teenagers are shown only the more enjoyable and funny side of these habits.

High school years are very competitive, and where your teenager stands on the popular scale with the rest of his or her peers is very important. To be considered a “looser” is one of the biggest fears of today’s teenager.
 
To avoid this label your teen sometimes will portray an image of being tough, rebellious and uncontrolled by their parents. For today’s teenagers, smoking and drinking are the easiest ways to declare their independence.

Drugs

A more dangerous and potentially life-threatening pressure teens face is drugs. The first and most commonly available is marijuana. This is a cheap and readily-available drug in today’s society, and most teenagers do not consider it harmful. In their eyes it does not cause serious addictions like heroin or methamphetamines.

The marijuana use depicted in movies and television does not show teenagers that marijuana is illegal and that being caught under the influence or in possession of such an item can ruin their future. Additionally, smoking marijuana may lead to more serious drugs such as heroin, crack or methamphetamines.

Sex

Every year the age at which teenagers begin having sex gets younger and younger. In order to be popular or liked by boys, a girl must be willing to have sex. Otherwise, they are considered “up-tight” and are paid no attention.

Boys who are not willing to have casual sex with a girl are considered weak. Oral sex has become very popular among today’s teenager due to teens’ belief that oral sex isn’t serious since there is no risk of pregnancy.

Telling your teenager not to give into these peer pressures will have little or no effect. Your teenager equates his popularity among his friends with his self worth. The more insecure your teenager is, the more likely he will give into these pressures to be accepted and popular.

Threats and punishment by parents put additional pressure on teenagers. Now they face the pressure from their peers on one side and the threats from their parents on the other side. Trying to avoid or ease some of the pressure, teenagers may avoid contact with their parents or lie to them.

Instead, you should recognize that fitting in and not being called a looser is very serious and important to your teenager. Convey to your teen
that you understand the pressures he is facing. Offer open discussions about situations and incidents - without the threat of punishment or judgment.

This will encourage your teenager to talk and lead him to trust you for advice about specific issues he is facing. By openly discussing the pressures he is facing with you, you will have a chance to voice your concerns and your opinion. Your teenager will be far more receptive to your suggestions if situations are discussed peacefully.

Be open with your teenager about all forms of sexual intercourse. Explain that there are other reasons not to become sexually involved too early.  Besides worrying about pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS, remind your teenager that he also needs to consider his pride and self respect.

Are you comfortable with your son or daughter's choice of friends? Get more insight plus hands on examples on this and other topics in Christina Botto's no nonsense, "how-to" book Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works.

raising teens
Discover:
  • How you can remain an active part in your teenager's daily activities

  • How to help your teen overcome his/her insecurity

  • How to build your teen's self-worth and an enhanced ability to resist peer pressure

  • And much more

Find out more - Join the hundreds of parents who already experienced a change for the better:

"Botto's advice is sound, her tone friendly, and her strategies manageable. Written as it is by a mother rather than a mental health professional, Help Me With My Teenager! speaks in a clear and understandable language directly to parents. Some techniques, such as stopping whatever you are doing when your kid is ready to talk, will be difficult for already busy parents to implement. However, the extra effort promises to pay excellent dividends in the form of a healthier, more supportive relationship." full review 
Bookwire, January 8, 2007



"Christina has been such a help to me in raising my son. He and I now have clearly defined roles and boundaries, and we are closer than ever. Thank you Christina for your advice, your patience, and your grace." - Tim R., Ocala, Florida

raising adolescents, help with teenager

"You may not personally need this info, but you may know someone else that could really use help with parenting their teenager, so please share it with all that are around teens. We all know that parents could use all the help we can give them!! Even if you don't need help with parenting your teenager at home, maybe you could use it at work, or someone else could use it at work. Try it if you do need it, don't think you will be disappointed!!"
Love, Sandy

parenting a teenager
Peer pressure in parenting teenagers

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peer pressure

Do you need help with specific teenage issues?
Issues like letting your teen know you care? Or monitoring their activities without breaking their trust? Or perhaps even stronger issues like alcohol, drugs, or “the wrong crowd”? Then our new series Fitting the Pieces is exactly what you are looking for. More


peer pressure

Audio Programs for Teens Help your teen overcome his/her insecurity and build self-worth, cope with peer pressure, or improve his/her learning habits.



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