Parenting Teenagers

It all began with MySpace . . .

The MySpace phenomenon began in 2003, when an Internet visionary and UCLA graduate named Tom Anderson reclaimed the moribund myspace.com domain. Prior to Anderson’s initiative, myspace.com was a file sharing forum. The original web site had to be disbanded in 2001 due to a lack of general consumer interest.

Anderson's vision of MySpace as a place where kids could network and form their own communities manifested in a huge way. In 2005, MySpace’s parent company was purchased for nearly $600 million – since then, MySpace has only increased in size.

MySpace started a trend. More popular social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube have emerged, along with special interest sites such as the gaming sites There.com and Gaia, sites especially for teens like GirlSense and myYearbook. The list is growing every day.

Why Teens like MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube

Social networking sites support a number of media. Teens can use these sites to chat, play games, post and browse through photos and videos, blog, and post an online profile.

Studies conducted during the summer of 2007 show that about half of all teens use social networking sites such as MySpace or Facebook. According to the studies, MySpace alone boasts more than 200 million profiles, and about one-quarter of those belong to teens under 18.

It is very important that parents look at their teen's profile, friends, and postings. A MySpace or Facebook page reveals a tremendous amount of information about your teen’s personality and interests.

By looking at your teen's page, parents will get to know how their teen acts and interacts with his peers. It will give you a chance to comment on your teenager's creativity or to catch potential problems your teen might be facing, including sexual behavior, substance abuse, or violence.

How you can help your teen to use social networking sites more safely:

·         Talk with your teen about the long-term impact of their profile and postings.

·         Encourage your teen to tell you if something they encounter on one of these sites makes them feel uncomfortable or threatened.

·         Make sure both you and your teen understand the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use of sites that your teen is using.

·         Ensure your teen does not use his or her full name or the full name of their friends.

·         Look for any information in your teen's profile or postings that could be used to identify him or her.

Some kids forget, or don't seem to care, that their web pages can be viewed by anyone with access to the Internet. The information, opinion, complaint, etc. stays out on the Internet and can come back to haunt your child since college administrators and employers increasingly look at these sites.

While social networking sites like MySpace, Facebook, and YouTube are generally safe and PG rated, some of the information teens post on their pages can make them susceptible to phishing scams, cyber bullying, and Internet predators.

In many ways, social networking sites are a mixed blessing for teens. They provide new ways to interact with peers and experience media, but they also open teens up to dangers.

Given the vulnerability your teenager faces by sharing his or her experiences and opinions with others, parents need to be aware and talk with their teen about potential dangers they might expose themselves to on MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, and the Internet in general.

If your teen refuses to abide by the safety rules you have set to protect their and your safety, you can contact the social web site your teen uses and ask them to remove your teen's profile and postings.

Christina Botto has been a sought-after mediator between parents and their teens for more than 20 years. She has helped hundreds of parents who are struggling with teen behavior, in person as well as through her books. Botto is the author of Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-step Guide for Parents that Works, Showing Your Teen that You Care, Monitoring Your Teenager, and Troubled Teenagers – Dealing with Tough Issues.

"Your book is a well-meant and unique approach to reach out to teenagers and their helpless parents!!!
Thanks again for your wonderful tips. I too have two daughters aged 8 and 13, and my teenager is sometimes quite difficult. I read your experiences and I am happy you are one of the lucky ones who got the opportunity to express your thoughts and experiences to benefit your larger family. Congrats."
Elizabeth Abraham

"Christina has been such a help to me in raising my son. He and I now have clearly defined roles and boundaries, and we are closer than ever. Thank you Christina for your advice, your patience, and your grace."
Tim R., Ocala, FL