The first year at college is an extremely stressful time for both the parent and the teenager.
Most teens will be leaving their home, their friends and a world that they have lived in and felt comfortable with for years. For most teenagers their first year includes a new area, along with a new room and a roommate.
College comes with a learning environment that is fast paced and a lot less personal than high school. This is sometimes an extreme shock to a teenager and they may soon find themselves struggling to keep up with and understand all the material they need to learn. Tests and quizzes are longer and require knowledge of much more material than High School, causing students' stress levels to rise even more.
With no one to really guide them, sometimes a first-year student will find unhealthy or dangerous ways to relax and take their mind off of school.
Although the dangers your teenager faces in college are the same as high school, the environment, rules, and people which present these situations are completely different. Your teenager is now in a place where they make friends and decisions that will affect their future lives. Since neither you, nor any other adult is looking over their shoulder and watching out for them, they may make unsafe and regretful decisions.
Drinking is the biggest threat to a teenager in college. Alcohol is easy to purchase and even easier to consume. Parties constantly exist near or even on campus, with availability of alcohol and sometimes even drugs. With no adults present and security personnel rarely showing up, a teenager may feel almost invincible, therefore pushing themselves to a level of drinking and partying that they cannot handle.
A teenager may begin to spin out of control without even knowing it. Partying too much on the weekend, or even during the school week, may lead to classes being skipped. Before they know it, teenagers in their first year of college may find themselves falling behind in class, possibly leading to the failing of classes.
It is important for parents to stay in touch
Keep in contact with your teenager, but do not smother them. Call occasionally to see how much time they are spending in their room.
Do not ask them if they are going to class or not. Instead, ask more personal questions about their classes. For instance, if they are taking an English class, ask what book they are reading at the moment, what the book is about and/or if they like it. By asking about the details, parents will get a better understanding about the progress their teen is making and how serious they are taking their classes.
It is also important to ask them how they like the college environment and if they are making friends. Ask what your son or daughter is doing in his or her spare time and what entertainment options are available.
Make sure your teen knows that he can call home anytime, especially if he feels overwhelmed or homesick. At the same time, ask your teenager about the best time to reach him so you can talk to him when you are missing him.
By admitting to your teen that you miss him it will be easier for your teen to pick up the phone to call you if she or he is homesick or feeling overwhelmed. Send your child an encouraging text message - just so they know you're thinking about them.
Parents experiencing the empty nest syndrome are sometimes tempted to convert their college freshman's room to other use. Here are a couple of reasons why I would recommend not doing that:
Your teen will be home from college more than parents initially expect. Additionally, already troubled by the separation of family and friends, it would cause further distress to your teenager if his room were not available for him when he comes home.
During the first year of college your teenager has to work through several emotional issues. It would ease some of the stress for your teenager if everything were the way he left it when he comes home during breaks.
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